A viewer asks: Do you know of any cases where there is a healthy happy widower-mistress long term solution? Meaning he keeps his home and family life separate while supplying the woman with various kinds of help. What type of financial planning and agreement would make this compartmentalized love into something emotionally stable and provide security for her?
Hi. It's Wednesday, and that means it's time for another video edition of Widower Wednesday.
I'm Abel Keogh, author of the book Dating a Widower, and today I am going to answer a question from a mistress of a widower.
This is a great question.
It has not been asked me before, and I do share this question with permission.
And it goes like this.
It says, abel, do you know of any cases where there is a healthy, happy widower mistress long term solution, meaning he keeps his home and his family life separate while supplying the woman with various kinds of help?
What type of financial planning agreement would make this compartmentalized love into something emotionally stable and provide security for?
Again, great question.
And this is the first time I've been asked this question.
So again, I appreciate you letting me share it with the audience.
So my answer is, and I'm going to be blunt about this, is in all the years I've been doing this, I cannot name one successful widower mistress relationship that has worked out long term.
There's a reason that he's keeping you separate from his family and his life.
There's a reason for it.
And what I see happen over and over again is that the moment you become a liability or the moment you become inconvenient to him, he is just going to dump you.
So instead of asking yourself, how does this work out long term?
Or what kind of financial agreement we should come to, I strongly suggest asking yourself why you're settling for this kind of relationship in the first place.
I always say that women in a relationship should be treated like a queen.
And really what you're doing here is you're settling not only for second place, like a lot of people do when they're dating.
A widower is you're like a dirty little secret.
He's hiding you from everybody.
It's not that you're even number two.
He doesn't want people to even know about you.
Really.
In reality, if a man truly loves a woman, he's not going to hide her and keep her as some kind of side piece or something like that.
He will want to show her off.
He will want everybody to know about her, and he will want to integrate her into his life.
And ultimately, what you're doing here is you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
And I guarantee at some point in the future, you're going to be unceremoniously dumped.
So instead of wondering about long term financial planning again, reevaluate the relationship and ask yourself why you're settling for this kind of relationship in the first place because I guarantee it will not work out long term.
You're better off with someone that will love you and treat you like a queen.
If you have your own thoughts on this, you can leave a comment below like this video and subscribe.
And if you find yourself in this situation, or just a situation in general and you want to talk to me, you can schedule a coaching session.
There's a link down in the description below.
I'm Abel Keogh, author of the book Dating a Widower, and I'll see you next Wednesday.