Funny Subtitles

After reading my last post asking for subtitle feedback, one reader emailed over some of her own true-to-life subtitle suggestions and gave me permission to share them on my blog. There's a part of me that wishes I could use them on my real book. My personal favorite it the fourth one.

• How to make sure the dead wife is truly buried before you get married
• Is there a ghost in your relationship? How to know the exorcism failed
• What to do when you think there is another bitch in your bed, and you don't own a dog
• She's gone, you're here. If that isn't enough for him, move on my dear
• How to be in a relationship with a man whoes mind that is more numb than the usual man
• How to be number 1 when you are number 2
• Dead people are perfect, you aren't. How to be perfectly imperfect
• How to date a man who visits the late wife's resting place more than he visits yours

Have a your own true-to-life subtitle you'd like to share? Add them to the comments below.

Why I Have Mixed Feelings About Wikipedia

Think someone was ticked off at ABC journalist Charles Gibson? Click on the image below to see a screen capture his Wikipedia entry last night.

That's why you should always take anything you read on that site with a grain of salt.

However, the entry was worthy of a good laugh.

Death Becomes Her

While flipping through the most recent issue of The New Yorker last night, I had a good laugh over the above cartoon because 1) it is the exact opposite of the “Is the widower I’m dating ready to move on?” question I receive a lot of emails about and 2) I have a dark and twisted sense of humor.

Update: It's a coincidence that I posted this right before the Memorial Day weekend.

Why-oming

It takes a lot to make me laugh. That being said, a satirical piece in The New Yorker about rich investors buying Wyoming for the purpose of renovating it had me in stitches. An excerpt:

I feel sorry for people who still think of their places in terms of square feet. My partner, Scott, and I recently purchased Wyoming, which we are in the process of having renovated, and, yes, I do know the square footage (something like two trillion seven hundred and thirty billion square feet, give or take). But that’s just not a very practical type of measurement when we’re dealing with all the plumbers and contractors and security staff and reporters and other non-wealthy service personnel we have to give instructions to. Nowadays, everybody involved in redoing substantial properties like ours uses Global Transverse Mercator Units (GTMUs), which you get off a satellite feed. GTMUs, we’ve found, are much more accurate for detail work like wainscoting, and are able to deal with vast alkali flats and so on, too.

Basically, we are looking at this purchase as a tear-down. There’s really not a lot here you’d want to keep, except one or two of the Wind River Mountains and some old nineteen-twenties Park Service structures in Yellowstone. Scott and I bought for the location—it’s convenient to anywhere, really, if you think about it—and for the simplicity of line. We wanted someplace rectangular, a much easier configuration from a design point of view, and we won’t have to fuss with panhandles and changeable riverine property lines where we’re going to get into disputes with the landowner next door. Spare us the headaches, please! We’ve had plenty already, with the former occupants (thank heavens they’re gone) and all the junk they left behind—the old broken-down pickup trucks, houses, eyesore water towers, uranium mines, the University of Wyoming, Yellowtail Dam, Casper.

Maybe it’s because I lived in Wyoming for two years that I found it so funny. My hat is off to the writer Ian Frazier. He did his homework. He described the state perfectly.

You can the entire article here.