Marrying a Widower: What You Need to Know Before Tying the Knot
Marrying a widower means writing a new story—together
Every marriage takes work, but marrying a widower comes with its own set of emotional and relational challenges. If you’re engaged or in a serious relationship with a widower, you need to know if he’s truly ready to build a life with you. Marrying a Widower will give you the clarity and confidence to either move forward—or walk away.
Drawing on more than two decades of personal and professional experience, remarried widower and relationship coach Abel Keogh shares practical advice for creating a strong, lasting marriage, including:
How to ensure your marriage is new and meaningful--not a continuation of his past
The top reasons marriages to widowers fail and how to avoid them
How to protect yourself financially and emotionally
How to handle the wedding guest list (and why some people should be left off)
How to confirm you’re truly compatible in all the right areas—not just focused on widower-related issues
You’ll also find more than 15 real-life stories from women who have stood exactly where you are now. Whether you’re engaged or simply weighing the future, Marrying a Widower will help you evaluate your relationship honestly and prepare for a marriage rooted in love, commitment, and a future that belongs to both of you.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Will the Widower Love Me Like He Loved the Late Wife?
Chapter 2: The Top Three Reasons Marriages to Widowers Fail
Chapter 3: Three Keys to a Thriving Marriage with a Widower
Chapter 4: Ashes, Headstones, and Burial Plots
Chapter 5: Why You Need a Prenup Before Marrying a Widower
Chapter 6: Thinking Beyond Widower Issues
Chapter 7: Who Should You (Not) Invite to Your Wedding?
Chapter 8: The Best Thing You Can Do for Your Marriage
Chapter 9: Final Thoughts
Introduction to the Second Edition
When I wrote the first edition of this book, Julianna and I were married for about a decade. I’d already spent several years connecting with widows, widowers, and those dating them. At that time, however, I hadn’t started my coaching practice. Most of the people I spoke with were still in the dating phase. Conversations with those who were engaged or already married were few and far between. That all changed once I began coaching.
Coaching provided me with a firsthand view of the difficulties couples encounter when a widower pursues marriage. I began hearing from women who were engaged and anxious about whether the widower was genuinely ready to tie the knot, widowers who weren’t sure if they were truly prepared to marry, and couples who thought they were doing everything right until things started falling apart.
I’ve watched many of my clients’ relationships grow into strong, lasting marriages. Sadly, I’ve also seen more than a few fall apart—sometimes just a few months after exchanging vows. Nothing is more heartbreaking than hearing from a woman who thought marriage would fix everything, only to find out her widower wasn’t ready to open his heart. Nothing is more painful than hearing a man admit, after the fact, that he rushed into a second marriage because he was lonely and thought that a new relationship would alleviate his grief and heartbreak.
This second edition is, for all practical purposes, a complete rewrite. While many of the core principles from the original version remain, this edition goes much deeper. It’s built on hard-earned insight from my marriage to Julianna and hundreds of coaching calls, emails, and conversations with real people in the trenches. It explains why so many marriages to widowers fail. More importantly, it outlines what you can do to ensure yours doesn’t. In it, you’ll find practical advice for evaluating a widower’s readiness, setting boundaries, avoiding common pitfalls, and building a strong foundation for the future. If you’re already married, there’s guidance here for strengthening your relationship—especially if things aren’t going as smoothly as you hoped.
This year, Julianna and I celebrated 22 years of marriage. Like others, our marriage is a work in progress. However, it’s stronger, deeper, and more resilient than when I wrote the first edition. The lessons in this book reflect what we’ve lived and seen work and fail for countless others.
I hope this book helps you avoid the landmines and gives you the tools to make wise decisions before saying “I do.” If you’ve already tied the knot, I hope it gives you what you need to build a strong, steady relationship that will last the rest of your life.
Let’s get to work!
Abel Keogh
August 2025